is it my heart or feet that need help?

I was in a lot of pain yesterday and this morning and both times I asked God to stop teaching me whatever it is he wants me to learn through this process. I know that not all pain is for this purpose and just is but what I really wanted was relief. I realize now that I can think clearly that God wanted me to want Him for my relief. He always wants us and waits on us for so much longer then I can imagine. I have blisters on my feet and they needed to be drained this morning. This seems gross but yet my heart so often develops blisters on it and I don't drain them. God is showing me humility, patience and that crying is one way to drain the blisters on my heart and let Him care for me. I love God so much and He is truly the only relief to everything.

I struggle with consistency and mornings...

I used to wake up every morning early and I would exercise, spend time with God, get ready for the day and feel really good. I am so far from this now and I really miss those days. I dread morning, struggle to wake up, no way I'm heading out in the cold to the Y, occasionally think about exercise and sometimes actually try it but restricted by my feet, and start the day feeling off. It's impossible to have a normal day when you start the day feeling off. I have been consistently spending time with God the last couple of weeks and it really does make a difference but I need to work on all my disciplines. I miss that old person and the joy I found in life and myself and it is really annoying that pain, sickness and life can get you totally off course. Why do we finally feel like we have arrived and then realize we actually don't have a clue what that means? Do my children miss that old mom that was healther, happier and a lot more fun to be around? It is so easy to read something and know what to do but doing it so much harder. I always know what I need to do but once I mess up I give up and I don't continue until I get it right - I used to but I must be getting lazier as I get older. I will continue to give this to God and journal about it. Do you feel off and struggle with normal?