My Ashton

It's Ashton's turn to travel with mom and get some attention. She deserves it and never demands it. She is my middle girl and is sandwiched between two strong personalities. Her quiet and cautious ways make many unaware of her deep thinking, artistic, yet comical personality! I always say let her get to know you over time, trust you and you will have an amazing friend for life.  

She is so great with words and expressing herself in art.  You must check out her blog www.sunshinelaine.com and you will be encouraged.  She also shares her talents and personality on www.YouTube.com/3sisterzinstyle and I find it interesting that the camera doesn't bother her. It's the best way to see what matters to her and a little idea of how she expresses herself. I have none of these abilities so I'm always amazed!

I have to work at getting inside her thoughts and heart. Her heart is so genuine and full of love. She has it hurt often by people that don't stop and realize the value of knowing her. I struggle watching it and pray for strength, peace and her heart. I can't change the world or people just help her love those that are hardest to love and grow as a person. 

She is dedicated to her Heavenly Father and loves Him so deeply for her age.  It shows me that praying for my children mattered and specific prayers even more.  I love hearing her thoughts after Biblestudy or in family conversations on what we are learning. 

She was my second girl, my second blessing and my second chance to figure out the mom thing.  Ashton, thank you sweet girl for being exactly who you are and forgiving my mistakes as a mom and in grammar(lol)!  Love you Ashy Bashy Boo!

the rock, the solid rock: My Victorie

the rock, the solid rock: My Victorie

My Victorie

It looks like my posts are going to be written on airplanes! Great time to reflect for me! These thoughts are going to be about my baby girl, Victorie!  Okay, she's not a baby but a teenager! She is my youngest and with each new season I have a bittersweet one since she is the last one.  

I hope you get to meet her someday, she has personality galore and is not afraid of people!  She came into this world ready to go and is always wondering what is next! The girl has no desire to be in the present time. I make her use that oil so I can handle all her ideas!  

She is a strong-willed child that does not understand the words 'no' or 'can't'!  I continue to learn each day how to parent and direct all that without ruining it! Biggest challenge I think for parents is seeing beyond and developing character in love.

She is traveling with me this time and sitting a few seats away, no problem for her since she got a window seat and a grandma by her!  I love knowing she will keep me organized, focused, happy and laughing! She will also keep me on track financially. LOL! 

I'm loving all her thoughts lately on kids and babysitting!  She is great with kids. It's interesting to hear her talk about enforcing rules and being firm when she made that the hardest as a little one. I guess I did something right.

She had also been key to our family eating really great lately. I've been preparing for this trip and not on top of meals.  She knows how to take charge and comes up with healthy and tasty meals!  I think my favorite this week was Paleo Scrambled Egg and Ham wraps.  I love doing nutrition lessons with her and both of us connecting the dots.  

Victorie fits perfectly the meaning of her name and is growing up so much right now, even faster I think being the youngest.  She has been joining me at Torah study and sharing her take aways. 

She has a great desire to learn, grow and connect to G-d! So amazing to me that she is only 13! I think at 45 I'm just starting to figure it all out!  

I'm so blessed and I hope you are also by reading about, knowing or meeting my beautiful Victorie! 

Airplanes and people and thoughts!

The dynamics of people are the best at the airport, boarding a plane, sitting next to strangers and especially exiting the plane! I always wish for people that will talk but it rarely happens! Sleep or headphones seem to prevail! This morning I even found sleep, rare for me! 

You see people in a hurry, working on laptops, reading, eating and mostly alone! We are all onsies on our way to our group. It's an odd feeling to be alone but yet surrounded by so many people. 

Do we follow such strict rules anywhere else in life? Pack luggage accordingly, take out liquids, stand in lines, put our arms over our head to be scanned, hope we don't have to check our carry on. It's amazing to stop and think that we just automatically do and never question it. It's the part of us that wants to follow when required.  What happens when it's time to exit the plane?   Lots of people ready to leave all at the same time and manners seem to get lost at our place of departure. I always wish for etiquette to prevail like it does at a golf range or library.

All kinds of people, old, young, tall, short, happy, unhappy, tired, creative looking, business looking and all going somewhere.  We all love the convenience of flying but do we all see the opportunities! I personally miss out much of the time being focused on feeling good and anxious. I can't read on planes so I watch people and wonder about their heart. I choose to start praying for all the people and their hearts. 

Today being September 11th makes me think about these people around me being the ones to help, protect, cling to and say goodbye with in tragedy.  It seems strange to think about but G-d made us that way and in times of need I think are true self and His love stand out most.  We really do care for others and desire connections, it's just easy to pretend for two hours we don't.

What do you think of when flying? Any tips on engaging people on airplanes?  Please share.

Thoughts as a mom lately!

So G-d has been prompting me to share my thoughts as a mom lately and what I have been learning.  My life has changed so much and yet it is the same in the ways that matter.  I love G-d more then ever, my husband, my children, my home and my season of life.  He has put me in Arizona and for that I am very thankful.  I don't know how to explain it but it is where I am meant to be and grow and expand.

My parenting has definitely taken a new direction with 4 teenagers in the house.  It is fun, crazy, busy, changing, full of conversation and going way too quickly.  It starts out so simple and then it just goes speeding by you and only because I pray do I make any sense of it and feel at peace in the middle of all the changes and hormones.

Prayer is the tool and reading G-d's word that has equipped me for each and every stage of this journey as a mom.  It is the only way I remove fear, anxiety, crabbiness, distractions and lonliness.  Those feelings completely overwhelm me at times.  They take over when I'm not hiding G-d's word in my heart and trusting Him with all of it.

Prayer is simple and yet so difficult.  It's talking to my best friend and its safe, freeing and also very convicting.  I realize so many things when I let Him speak to my heart and my mind.  I am a prayer journaler so I have for years kept journals of my prayers to G-d.  If you ever want to know the real and raw me that would be the source and some of my most intimate and desperate thoughts and emotions.  I need to do it that way, see it on paper, stay focused and not think a zillion things and try to pray, remind myself, go back and see where I have come from and how He has answered and just write a letter from my heart.

Update to this post:  I have 3 teenagers in the house and 1 away in college.  I was asked by many if I was sad or doing okay with her leaving home.  Honestly, I was so excited for her I could not begin to be sad.  I miss seeing her daily and her contribution to our home but this season is so amazing for her I would never want to take away from it by focusing on me.  I raised her to be independent, self sufficient and ready for learning and opportunities so she will do great.  Her siblings have had a bit of a tougher time without her but are adjusting and reconfiguring their relationships and roles in our home.  My prayers for my children will not change and my trust that He has them covered and protected remains the same.

If you need a good resource to help you with praying for your children I recommend "Praying the Scriptures for your Children" by Jodie Berndt and also "Praying the Scriptures for your Teenagers" also by Jodie Berndt.  The chapter on Teens Driving was a huge blessing and much needed.  I always joked I'd rather potty train 50 more kids then teach my kids to drive.  So far, we've made it thru two and two more to go and I think those that work in the student driving industry are pretty crazy and amazing!

Comment if you have other resources you recommend or areas of life not at peace so I can pray for you friends!

Today I chose the wrong language!

I have had a series of opportunities lately to learn and grow in my understanding of G-d, conscious language, thought, communication, dreams, connection, friendship and more.  It never seems to come from one place when G-d decides to guide and challenge me, usually everywhere I look!  I've always found in my walk that I don't get to experience a lot of naiveness but always fully aware and challenged.  I will admit that half the time I'm good with it and the other half I'm stubborn, irritated, not willing and try to ignore G-d and all the "awareness" He is giving me.

My big learning recently was the words I use such as I want, I hope, maybe, I want to have and upgrading to I can, I am, I will, I choose, I have, I love, I create, I enjoy.

Did you know we actually speak from our heart?  So what I'm learning is that I can't just say these words, I have to say them with my heart and believe them.  This quote really connected the dots for me "Your greatest weakness shall be your greatest strength!  I would not say something I didn't believe in.   Believe means Be Alive!"  Bob Stevens

I choose to allow myself to agree and love my words, not fix them.  I choose to not coach others words and let them discover in their own way and time.  I am renaming my world and reversing my patterns as I realize those words impacted my heart and thoughts.  Heart already has pure speech I heard recently and that I give what I will receive.  I can use language that will bless others and myself.

The other opportunity that has connected more dots for me in this area is beginning to read the Torah the last three weeks.  I did not realize I could gain so much from Deuteronomy and have always skimmed it or avoided it.  My takeaway from last week was Deuteronomy 25:15 "A perfect and honest weight shall you have, a perfect and honest measure shall you have, so that your days shall be lengthened on the Land that HASHEM, your G-d gives you."  I pictured my words as my weight and measure and G-d abhors dishonesty.  My word is my authority and what is new and different for me is that I dream and speak of my dreams.

I have also been reading the book "Good to Great in G-d's Eyes" by Chip Ingram and just finished the chapter Dream Great Dreams.  I never have coincidence always lots and lots of "awareness"!  G-d speaks loud and clear to me when I choose to listen.  My takeaway from this chapter was Write it down, Read over my dreams regularly, Pray over them and Watch for G-d's intervention.  A quote from the book I want to share is this "To dream of doing great things for G-d's glory is a biblical goal, and being able to articulate the result we want to see keeps us focused on our priorities and helps us perceive through obstacles and difficulties."  Chip Ingram

So this week has been super amazing and also full of a crazy amount of deep thoughts, readjusting my mind, crazy dreaming, moods and overall the beginning of a new upgrade in my heart, words and mind.  Today I chose to fail miserably and wallow in I'm tired and I can't do it and the world is against me until my best friend and husband reminded me to just stop and be and not get ahead of myself or off course.  He is inspired, encouraged and also attracted to this new "Christie" language.  Putting all of this into words has been so helpful and brought so much of it together.  I will share more of my dreams in this blog and my journey to create and enjoy the life He has given me.

Feel free to ask questions and I'd love to hear your comments and thoughts on this reflection question from the Good to Great book.

How can you tell the difference between a self-inspired dream and a G-d-given one?  What would happen to each kind if you brought it to the cross?

Questions to reflect on 2011

I found these great questions on a blog called (in)courage me for reflecting on 2011 and love this kind of stuff and learn a lot from taking time to do it. Here is the link to the blog:
20 Questions for a New Year's Eve Reflection (or anytime)

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
5. Pick three words to describe 2011.
6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2011 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).
7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2011 (again, without asking).
8. What were the best books you read this year? 
9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?
20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2011 for you.

I plan to work on these questions over the next month and share some of what I learn, please feel free to share your thoughts or learnings.  Thanks!

Loving others...

I pray every day for God to help me love others and to truly have compassion and I fail every single day. I know that God does not want me to give up on this area and that He specifically places in my life opportunities to love others.

My sinful character chooses to criticize, be annoyed, irritated and disappointed rather then see the person from the inside and just love them no matter what...character is a challenge and love is so beyond my comprehension. God loves me and I expect it and desire it and need it but I so struggle to give it, see it and dwell on it.

I tried to memorize the love chapter in 1 Corinthians and I have to admit that I completely failed and gave up, why was it so difficult? I'm pretty sure it wasn't my getting old memory but the challenge of memorizing words that I really can't grasp or live and the conviction was my barrier.

I must try again and truly meditate on each word and God's amazing, overwhelming, fantastic, perfect LOVE!

Do you love easily without hesitation or do you struggle to love?

Luke 10:27 (NIV)
27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]”

the rock eternal

The verse I have on my page is very important to our family. I was reminded of it this past weekend. I purchased a wall vinyl of the verse to put on our bedroom wall and procrastinated for the last six months to actually put it up. It is finally up thanks to lots of pushing and prodding from Nate. I am so glad he made us finally get it up because it encourages me every day as I walk into my room that I have the Lord, the Lord to give me perfect peace.

One of my kids asked why the verse doesn't say God in it and then we talked about other names for God - I want my kids to learn to call on God and praise Him with His various names - names of endearment that are encouragement to us.

They also asked why it says the Lord two times - my thought was that it was to remind us that it is the Lord without any doubts or hesitations and to not give any credit to anyone else. I also think God knew we need to hear things more than once to make it stick.

We claimed this verse for our marriage and placed it on our wedding cake and now it is a part of our home to continue to strive towards trust in our relationship with God.


Isaiah 26:3-4 (New International Version)

3 You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.

4 Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.

Encouragement

I have one of those flip calenders that has a little saying and a bible verse. I received it 17 years ago and I still use it and am still encouraged by it each day and each year. It is called "The Grace of Encouragement" by Charles R. Swindoll. I want to share today's with you:

Don't just get older, get better. Live realistically. Give generously. Adapt willingly. Trust fearlessly. Rejoice daily.
"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life." Proverbs 16:31

I love this reminder and it very much encouraged me today to enjoy getting older and to enjoy my gray hair increasing!

I sure do take a long time to post

I have never been a consistent person that does things on a regular basis - this blog is a great example. This inconsistency carries over into lots of things for me. I am always full of ideas and thoughts but not so great at following it through. I did finally finish something yesterday and it went very well so I'm glad I saw that from start to finish. I think my mind has been so busy lately that I can't settle down and get particular thoughts. I woke up at 12:30pm last night and then I just layed there for about 2 hours trying to sleep until I realized it was a waste of time to lay there. I went downstairs quietly and spent time journaling in family albums. My mind was wide awake so I put it to good use and now I am still wide awake. I know it will catch up tonight but it was actually really refreshing to just sit and do something that was not on a list or required by anyone else. I also find it refreshing to wear comfortable new tennis shoes, Wii Fit free step while I watch morning news, time with God and being with my family. What do you find refreshing today?

Anger, it's so ridiculous . . .

I spent the day yesterday being very angry and it was a ridiculous waste of my day. I did not spend any time with God because I knew he would not approve of how I was acting. I seem to always know what I'm doing is wrong and that I am making a choice of disobedience. I really wish God would make me clueless and that I wouldn't realize what I'm doing. It took so much energy to be angry all day and boy did my mind have a hay day with accusations and thoughts. I took it out mostly on my husband but it spilled over onto my kids and everyone I came in contact with during the day. I may not have seemed angry but I was not wanting to give anyone my time.

I am not angry today it was too much work and there are no rewards at the end of the day - just a stomachache from the 2 doughnuts and chili cheese fritos I consumed to make me feel better. Didn't work!

Do you ever feel angry? Why do we let it consume us? Why do we not do what we know we need to do? (confusing but the only way to word it)

is it my heart or feet that need help?

I was in a lot of pain yesterday and this morning and both times I asked God to stop teaching me whatever it is he wants me to learn through this process. I know that not all pain is for this purpose and just is but what I really wanted was relief. I realize now that I can think clearly that God wanted me to want Him for my relief. He always wants us and waits on us for so much longer then I can imagine. I have blisters on my feet and they needed to be drained this morning. This seems gross but yet my heart so often develops blisters on it and I don't drain them. God is showing me humility, patience and that crying is one way to drain the blisters on my heart and let Him care for me. I love God so much and He is truly the only relief to everything.

just what i needed today. . .

I receive lots of different e-mails and devotions but when they hit home they really hit home. I so relate to this being an adult with pimples

Mentoring Moments BlogCast published a new entry entitled "Do You Have Pimples In Your Life?" on 1/28/2009 8:19:13 PM, written by Carla Anne Coroy.


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Do You Have Pimples In Your Life?

My youngest daughter was standing in the kitchen ready to practice her violin. Her oldest sister said, “What’s on your cheek?”



“Nothing. Just a red spot,” replied the youngest.



Two other kids crowded around her instantly, pressing their faces close to hers to inspect this ‘red spot’.



“Hey, you’ve got a pimple!” her sister announced.



“No,” countered her brother, “it’s a real live ZIT!”



So she ran off to the bathroom to check it out. Could it be true? Would it really be happening to her?



As I watched this happen in front of my eyes I said nothing. I was trying to come up with words of consolation, not to mention trying to console myself that my ‘baby’ has pimples! I needn’t have worried though.



She raced down the stairs to tell her dad and brother the big news. As she danced her way back up the stairs she flung her hands into the air and with great flair said, “Finally! I can’t believe I’ve finally got a pimple! God really is helping me grow up and not stay a kid!”



Who can argue with that logic? If only I looked at my circumstances and trouble with the mature perspective of my eight year old daughter.



As women we often look at the hard things that come our way and struggle with them like we did with the pimples on our faces as teenagers. We forget that with growth comes pain, with maturity comes the acceptance that not everything will be perfect, good maybe, but not perfect.



“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 (NLT)



Is there a ‘pimple’ in your life that you’ve been picking at and complaining about? Why not rejoice instead that God has already overcome the world and the trial you are in today is as fleeting as yesteryear’s pimples?

Questions for Kids

I found these questions "23 Great Questions to Ask Your Kids" and so today I decided to ask them. Some of the questions are too hard for them to answer or understand but I loved some of them and most of all my kids loved the one on one and me asking them questions and listening to them.

My favorite was "When you pray, how do you picture God?". My kids answered with smiling, standing right next to me, looking down from the sky and tall with no hair. I did learn that I yell or talk rough too much because they all answered that when I asked what I did that hurt their feelings they said I don't really yell just get a rough voice and upset so I guess I know what I need to work on and pray about. It is really icky to hear that and makes me feel like scum but in reality I'm human and I can't change what I've done but I can work on my responses. I really am not suprised because I know it. I am not a patient person and I try to apologize to them for my mistakes. It's not what I want them to grow up remembering about me. Am I the only one that has messed up as a parent but keeps on trying to improve? What areas are you working on? What questions were your favorite?

My last question for you is the last one "What is the most important decision you will ever make?" My answer is the decision to ask Jesus to be in my life and my heart forever as my best friend.

this was helpful to hear today

I like to listen to Nancy Leigh DeMoss podcasts and she is doing a series on Getting Into the Word and Getting the Word Into You and today's was titled "Developing a Hunger". This is what I need to pray for and I was encouraged by the scripture she shared Psalm 51:12 and will ask God to "make me willing to obey".

I struggle with consistency and mornings...

I used to wake up every morning early and I would exercise, spend time with God, get ready for the day and feel really good. I am so far from this now and I really miss those days. I dread morning, struggle to wake up, no way I'm heading out in the cold to the Y, occasionally think about exercise and sometimes actually try it but restricted by my feet, and start the day feeling off. It's impossible to have a normal day when you start the day feeling off. I have been consistently spending time with God the last couple of weeks and it really does make a difference but I need to work on all my disciplines. I miss that old person and the joy I found in life and myself and it is really annoying that pain, sickness and life can get you totally off course. Why do we finally feel like we have arrived and then realize we actually don't have a clue what that means? Do my children miss that old mom that was healther, happier and a lot more fun to be around? It is so easy to read something and know what to do but doing it so much harder. I always know what I need to do but once I mess up I give up and I don't continue until I get it right - I used to but I must be getting lazier as I get older. I will continue to give this to God and journal about it. Do you feel off and struggle with normal?

time with God

I've been trying to consistently spend quality time with God and Wow does it make a difference in my attitude with my family and life in general. I know this to be true but as it happens to me again this time I am overwhelmed by God's grace.

My friend Vicki gave me "30 Days to Greater Praise" a long time ago and God has brought it to my attention recently - honestly I started it this fall and I am only on Day 12 so not doing it in 30 days. Today I memorized the verse

Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

I was then asked to meditate on this for 5 minutes - I am not one to sit still or meditate easily so it was challenging for me. The parts of the verse that stood out to me were "be still", "know" and "I will be". Its hard to be still and I never realized that it was a way to praise God, I have a long way to go to develop this but will continue to work on it. KNOW - I need to not wonder, think, feel, question, pretend, hesitate or procrastinate but KNOW that He is God - such a strong, powerful word. God is confident and sure "I will be exalted" and I need to be confident and sure in my relationship with Him.

Have you ever tried being still? Do you find time to praise God? Is consistency in time with God easy or hard for you?

My Jesus, I Love Thee

My Jesus, I love thee, I know thou art mine,
For thee all the follies of sin I resign.
My gracious Redeemer, My Saviour art thou,
If ever I loved thee, My Jesus, 'tis now.

I love thee because thou has first loved me
And purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree.
I love thee for wearing the thorns on thy brow.
If ever I loved thee, My Jesus, 'tis now.
I love thee as long as thou givest me breath.
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow
If ever I loved thee, My Jesus, 'tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight
I'll ever adore thee in mansions so bright.
I'll sign with the glittering crown on my brow
If ever I loved thee, My Jesus, 'tis now.

Will­iam R. Fea­ther­ston, 1864; Fea­thers­ton was on­ly 16 years old at the time.

I read this the other day and the words keep going through my head. "Thee" is not a word I use but the sentence describes my constant struggle. I love Jesus but it seems to be stronger some days and then there are the days that I forget about Him and struggle and then am reminded that "If ever I loved thee, My Jesus, 'tis now." I'm so thankful that He is My Jesus and that he first loved me. Are you familiar with this tune? Can you imagine putting into words at the age of 16 your love for Jesus? I desire to do this at my age, much past 16 and yet God is happy with any words I say to Him.

my verses and thoughts for weight and body issues

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body." I Corinthians 6:19-20

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." I Peter 3:3-4

A gentle and quiet spirit is the result of placing my full trust in God - not in my looks, talents or abilities.

If I think positively about my body I have a healthy body image. It has no correlation to what I weigh or how I look.

A healthy body image is characterized by three major components: respect, care and perspective. A woman with a healthy body image respects her body, takes care of her body and keeps her body in perspective.

"comfortable in your own skin" by Dr. Deborah Newman

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." Romans 1:20

"We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves with themselves, they are not wise." 2 Corinthians 10:12

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" I John 3